Where'd you get them jeans?!?!

It's no secret that I'm the short one in this comedic duo. While being the little guy this has it's disadvantages - I'm always Robin and never Batman, Sonny and never Cher, et al- none are quite as annoying as my problem with jeans and really, pants in general. They never fit quite right, always dragging more than little behind my shoes on the ground. This forces me to live with one of two situations. I can A) rollup, coff or "peg" the damn pants and look like an extra out of Back To The Future or B) let them drag and ruin the back of my pant legs. Neither is the preferred method and I fluctuate as to which is more embarassing. In either case, I trip over my jeans almost as much as I trip over my words.

I've never found an adequate solution to this. I'm not ashamed to admit to you that a 28 inseam is about right, depending on the shoes I'm wearing on a given day. But it's always seemed that no matter what the size of my fluctuating waistline I buy for, I'm lucky to find a 30 inseam. Those two digits make a huge difference to someone my size (somewhere in the neighborhood of 5'5" and 5'6" for you nosy stalker kids keeping track!) mind you. No comments from the peanut gallery here, but I would kill most days for an extra two inches!

Now I've lost a fair amount of weight in the past year or so. My already too long jeans have also been hanging a little low on me, even with a belt assistance,. So when this past Saturday found FB and I in my local Cross Ross Dress For Less, I decided it was time to bite the bullet and buy some new jeans, inseam be damned. FB, as ever, kept his eye open for that rare and elusive 28 inseam. (Incidentally, if I were a 28 waist, none of this would be an issue. Skinny people get whatever they want in this world when shopping off of the rack.)

Now, I've done this dance before. I find a pair that look great, convince myself that a pair of 34/32s will fit OK and then walk out of the dressing room dejected and end up buying myself something useless at Urban Outfitters across the street just to make myself feel better. So when FB tossed over two pairs, each with a 28 inseam and told me to try them on without looking too closely, I was cautiously optimistic. Into the dressing room we went.

First pair: a little baggy, but a great length. Score! Second pair: perfect on the waist and even better on the length. It must have been the full moon. As I slipped the jeans off and changed back into my own clothes, I noticed something odd about these jeans. Only the inseam was listed on the inside tag alongside the word "Husky." And then the godawful truth hit me.

I fit into little boys' jeans. Little fat boys' jeans. (One of them even had an adjustable waistband inside!) On the plus side, my clothing expenses just got cut in half. Each pair of genuine Levi's cost me $10.99!

Incidentally, I now know that the Spanish equivalent for "husky" is "Robusto."

Robustfully yours,
-J.

This post was sponsored by the Domo Arigato, Mister Robusto Committee.