Jane Austen's Diary

When I was in high school, I was a journalism geek. My senior year was spent toiling as the editor of the news section. I didn't like it, but I had a talent for it. To keep myself happy, I wrote music and film reviews. This week I thought I'd indulge and do a little of the same, especially since with the holiday coming up, I'll be sporadically in front of my home computer at best. So here I give you:
The Week In Reviews!
Day 1: Pride & Prejudice

That's right, kids. I spent some time with Jane Austen this Saturday. No, I didn't spend money to see Keira Knightley sloppily kiss her Mr. Darcy (I don't care if Judi Dench kicks ass in another 5 minute cameo. After Domino, Keira owes me nude pictures of Orlando Bloom!). I went back to my old high school and saw a real-live teenage production. The results were, predictably, mixed. Some kids have it, some kids don't, and some just lack the ability to gauge when they're "screaming" as opposed to "projecting" in a black box production where the sound reverberates and stings your ears. Such are the problems with high school productions. For kids, by kids. As they say, "This ain't Shakespeare." Even when it is, it usually sucks.

Now, my alma mater does have an above-average drama program. This time around it wasn't to be, but usually the productions are quite good. But the performances weren't the problem this night. It was the subject matter. I can't stand stories where women are defined by their choice in men. While Pride is ultimately not that, there is enough to it (especially in the first act) to make me mad.

For those among us who are Austen challenged, this key might help. Bridget Jones' Diary is loosely a modern spin on the story. The character of Elizabeth is Bridget Jones. Mr. Darcy is Colin Firth (autuer Helen Fielding liked his performance in a BBC production of P&P so much that his last name is Darcy in Jones as well) and Hugh Grant is the buffonish Mr. Collins oops! Thanks to Lady T. I now know he's more Mr. Wickham (see what happens when you don't read kids?). Now, the comparison isn't perfect. For one thing, Elizabeth is waay smarter than Bridget - she dumps her oaf early on while Ms. Jones toils over a rather obvious choice. Also, I can't stand Renee Zellweger. But that's another point entirely.

The point is that the director of the drama program is very staunchly feminist. I can get behind that, but I realized that she's fond of stories that are heavy of female leads (men are more of a plot device in this piece than anything else), yet they do nothing to edify women. "The girl is incomplete without a boy" message is the reason I hate Winona Ryder movies. Not that I'm an expert or anything, but if there aren't good roles out there, I'd start going with broad comedies and brooding dramas.

Granted, Pride & Prejudice is set during a time when women couldn't own property. It's not Jane Austen's fault there. But I think you get my point: When life makes you choose between the foppish cute guy whoe won't grow up or a man who's handsome smart and combative, choose Colin Firth. If you doubt me, watch Love, Actually.

-J.

This post was sponsored by the Clueless was a better Austen update than Bridget Jones! Committee.