Hate Night

I know I can seem like a nice guy. Much of the time, I am. But I'm also an evil little prick sometimes. For example: on Halloween we saw two adorable little twink fluffs dressed as soldiers confessing their tweaked-out love for each other in the middle of a crowd neither could see because their eyes were locked in each other's gaze. Recapping the evening later, The Princess pined to be that innocent again. "Oh, they'll learn soon enough...", she said, meaning nothing more than that their hearts would break eventually. My response? "Yeah. Either that or one of them will overdose." Laughs were had, jaws dropped, and a friend simply responded, "Well, it's all roses and sunshine for you all the time isn't it?" Just par for the course when it comes to me. Some days the twin whose mostly sunny with funny, sarcastic jabs is in charge. Others, the sarcastic twin with a few sunny observations is at the wheel. Either way, my confirmed status as a hater is well-earned and worn proudly. What's my point? There is no point. Some days, I just ramble cause something's in my head. What else you here for - if you want smart and informative, dial up Jake.

***

You know what makes me laugh? Old people swearing and children crying. Now before you think that I'm a total ass, let me explain. I don't like kids to genuinely be in pain, but some situations are undeniably. Like many, many years ago when I was watching an old wrestling tape (don't ask) with some high school friends. "Macho Man" Randy Savage was tied up in the ropes by Jake "The Snake" Roberts. Jake produced, after some theatrics, a cobra which proceeded to bite the Macho Man on his steroid-filled biceps. (Come to think of it, I wonder who was in more danger there. I hope the snake got a tetnus shot.) Cut to the shot of a boy, maybe three, four years old in the crowd: crying and screaming and clearly yelling, "Mommy!" before burying himself in his mother's shoulder. I'm sorry - maybe you had to be there, but this was hilarious. I had no interest in wrestling, no matter how tight the shorts got, but I made them rewind that several times for my amusement. Who brings a three-year old to a wrestling match? Probably the same family who brought a kindergartner to see Domino a few weeks ago. I know, I know: "Thanks for sharing you sick, twisted, child hating bastard." You know what? I 'm still laughing. I'm just that kind of hater. Join the Armi if you're looking for a genuinely nice, kid friendly person.

***

Alright, that's enough filler for one night. We're only one week til Thanksgiving and the blow-out Thanksgiving Day post. Trust me, you won't want to miss it. T-Day will be a big day for Hot & Fresh. Hotter, fresher, and dare I say it? cuter than usual. Be there or, um, catch up the next day. It's not like TV where if you don't have TV you'll have to set a tape or watch it during hiatus. That's what the Snark-hives are for.

G'night kids!

-J.

This post was sponsored by the Macy's Day Haterade Float Committee.