Hey, does anyone here remember me...?

So, I'm the guy who used to run this blog. Now I'm sort of an editor-in-chief who's been upstaged by a new, glamourous, and (I can hardly say it) younger columnist. I feel like Kim Cattrall in a way! In any event, happy Tax Day all to my fellow Americans! In any effort to keep today's post non-taxing (groan), I'm going to direct you around the Blogosphere to some of my favorite sites and blogs - most of whom are fellow members of the Online Gay Mafia. Enjoy!

• Jason is camping this weekend, so no updates to The Room until Monday. Still, if you haven't read him yet or recently, I'd recommend digging through the last few posts. They'll break your heart but you'll be all the better for it.
• BoiFromTroy is always a great read, especially if you're an Angeleno. He is officially my favorite Log Cabin Republican - besides Abe Lincoln, of course.
• Tottyland is an across-the-Atlantic hoot. It's mostly links to pictures of hot guys and is not to be confused with this place.
• It's not as heavily populated as it once was (since Buffy & Angel went off the air), but I'd still like to give a shout out to the white room. If you're into Lost, so are we - drop in and post!
• If you're into left-leaning politicoblogging you could do much much worse than to visit Majikthise. Sharp tongued and sharp witted.

Not much beyond that for today. I'll be back for some weekend blogging tomorrow!

-J

This post was sponsored by the Too Lazy To Really Write Committee.

I promise - last one this week...

Our old friend Michelle is ringing the victory bells now that Kill Bush products are no longer for sale at CafePress. I'm sure she lost sleep over that one. I guess this means she'll get around to condemning these encouraging shirts ASAP.

And then these. After all, pro-violence and pro-child abuse have to rank only slightly below pro-assassination, right?

Right.

-J

p.s. Michelle: The reason you don't see much anti-Kerry stuff on CafePress is that it is now April and the election was in November. Remember that whole Red America thing? It's over - you won that one. Get over it.

This post was sponsored by the overworked Malkin Watch Committee.

Swingin' in the rain...

Ever notice that music is everywhere you go? No matter what, you cannot avoid it. It might blare out of a car window while you're on the freeway. It might be in the background of your favorite film. It might just be that collection of over 1000 cds you're struggling to squeeze into your tiny room. (OK - that last one might just be me!)

Or it might be the guy at your gym who's singing loudly as if he were in a private shower at home. He's not of course. He's not even in one of the private stalls. He's in the communal shower room. And he's not very good. But he's cute. He has a great ass. (Of course I looked.) And he only started singing right after he noticed an audience - the very 'mo who is typing this entry. He shot me the look - the one all Moes give one another to ID ourselves covertly. And his song selection? "One More Try" by George Michael. Complete with an attempt at "touch yooooou..." in full-on falsetto.

It wasn't until I was halfway home that I realized he might have been trying to tell me something with that song choice. It all flashed by so quickly. Well, it didn't all flash by, just the aforementioned back forty, but I digress... I never considered that he was cruising. In any event, sometimes I wish I had a camera crew following me around. My life itself may be pretty boring, but what goes on in this world every day is worth saving.

And I've saved this moment. Here's hoping you enjoyed reading it.

-J.

p.s. - based on today's post over in Jason's Room, it looks like Jason might enjoy my gym! Jason's blog is highly recommended by the way - he's really funny and a much better writer than he gives himself credit for. Check it out.

This post was sponsored by the Too Much Information Committee.

M. MALKIN: LIBERALS ADVOCATE KILLING

(That headline/link is a gross generalization. Just making a point.)

Hi, Michelle. I found some examples. See also here for more info on some of the more heinous stuff. The difference as I see it? The RightWingStuff merch encourages violence against liberals in general. The Christopher Goodwin stuff specifically encourages DeLay to drop dead. And the Kill Bush shirt pretty much speaks for itself. (You're a little late to the party in condemning that one, by the way. A (gasp!) liberal got there first!) None of that makes all conservatives "pro-assasination," right?

Bottom line: It's all disgusting - and no matter who any idiot advocates violence against, it should be condemned.

On a related note: pre-supposing the responses of wingnuts and posting them as if you've already received the responses is irresponsible. And labeling a whole group of people as being "pro-assassination" based on t-shirts is the very definition of "unhinged."

What needs to be assasinated here is irresponsible journalism.

This post was sponsored by the MalkinWatch Committee.

Light blogging today.

On account of my being majroly sunburned 'n' stuff. My neck is so red and hurty that even I can't muster a cliched redneck joke.

Ebay and Adult Swim are today's winners in the "How Can I Waste My Time and Still Feel Like I Did Something?" awards. The guys and gals responsible for these addictions will receive no prizes other than ratings and my hard-earned cash - providing they run the right episodes of Futurama & the Venture Bros. and that I can find some affordable Super Powers & Secret Wars figures to add to my superhero display closet. If anyone knows of some good deals on those, pass along the word. I'll be much obliged.

Briefly: why am I sunburned, my three readers ask? Because I forgot to apply sunblock while out at the Rose Bowl Flea Market this weekend. It was a great day for cheap finds - the Best Friend found Dutch wooden shoes for $10! - but once the burn set in, my world was pain and nothing but. Hopefully tomorrow the redness will have gone down and I'll be able to take a shower above -150 degrees Celsius. Then I'll blog some decent observations I've got stewing.

Until then, I'm J.

This post was sponsored by the Useless Information Committee.

Last night's post is Lost In Space...

...or wherever old socks go when they disappear in the dryer.

The ether ate last night's brilliantly worded post about why Michelle Malkin is not a cunt, but she is awfully sensitive. If you're going to blog so prolifically, passionately and controversially, you should really develop thicker skin. I'll admit it: Liberals used to corner the market on the oppressed victim defense. But now it seems that everyone and anyone makes good use of the third grade staple "(S)he started it!" to preface their hypocritical attack on "the other side." Wake up, Auntie Coulter - you and Uncle Franken are bedfellows whether you like it or not.

That being said, self-avowed liberals should still refrain from childish name calling or hurling pies at people speaking there opinion. Yes, it happened again. And charges will be reportedly pressed this time. And no - that's not the David Horowitz of Fight Back! fame. It's this guy. No - I don't like what he has to say. But I wouldn't assault him for it. And neither should you.

-J

This post was sponsored by the Political Foosball Committee.

Seen & heard...

Witnessed on Los Angeles' public transportation system (believe it or not, we have one) in the last few weeks:

• A driver singing "All Along the Watchtower" without any accompaniment but the music in his head.
• Another driver singing "Loving You" (all at once now: is easy cause you're beautiful...) while it played on the radio - she tried to hit the E above High C. Doo doo doo doooooo. Ow.
• Still a different driver berating a woman in a wheelchair for letting other people on ahead of her. Apparently, he needs to lower the ramp first to ensure he doesn't pass her by and get a bad report. He got one anyway. I called in and ratted him out for yelling at a lady in a fucking wheelchair.
• A boy of maybe 16 very obviously looking to hustle. He appeared to be coming down off of something.
• Several people getting on to the bus with newly-bought televisions in tow.
• Random snippets of people's life stories. If I had the time, I would ride until the end of the line and back again just to eavesdrop. It's amazing what people will tell complete strangers when you considering how much we keep from those closest to us. One fellow claimed to have won the lottery only to lose it all to a greedy ex-wife. He fessed up to the fact that he owed hundreds of thousands in back child support but was sure the Lord would get him some more winnings soon. He hitchhiked from New York to L.A. - it apparently took a month.

This post was sponsored by the L.A. Observatory Committee.

FLASHBACK!

When I was a kid, I was spoiled rotten. I had more action figures than anybody I knew. Despite my status as a bona fide sissy, I was really into the Masters of the Universe and G.I. Joe toys. My big passion has been and still is superheroes. (All things Superman make me happy, if you're looking for a birthday gift sometime.)

One of the more unique toys I hadwas a Lion-O figure from the Thundercats line. His eyes lit up if you pressed into his back with this weird battery powered accessory - it looked like a little rocket, a futuristic lipstick, and a little like a sexual pleasure device. (It did require a battery, after all!) I lost that bit, as kids are wont to do and couldn't light up Lion-O's eyes anymore. Couldn't, that is, until one day he was sitting too close to the microwave and I noticed them eyes flicker a little. Being the ingenious brat I was, I figured his eyes would work even better in the microwave. So for a few weeks, whenever my parents weren't looking or were out of the house, I would sneak him into the kitchen, turn off the lights and chant "Thunder, thunder, THUNDERCATS! HO!"

And then one day, I took it too far.

Normally, Lion-O's stay in the micro lasted only a few seconds - ten at the most. But on this day, I got greedy, as kids are wont to do. I hit 00:30 on the pad and at about the 15 second mark...

LION-O's HEAD FUCKING EXPLODED AND CAUGHT ON FIRE!

Panicked, I disposed of the body after rinsing of his charred head in the sink, but my parent's car pulled into the driveway just as I began cleaning out the now pitch black insides of the unharmed appliance. I tried to explain it away by saying the chili I was reheating had exploded (this happened quite frequently, actually) but they weren't buying. The smell of burnt plastic probably gave me away before the visual. Also, I should have disposed on the body in the outside trash can. I wasn't as ingenious as I thought, I guess.

By the end of my spanking, I was wishing my head had exploded and caught on fire.

-J

This post was sponsored by The Nostalgia Committee.

Monday, Monday...

Blogger.com's posting capabilities have been down most of the day - at least they were whenever I went and tried it. Better late than three month's late, right??

I watched my first (and sadly, probably not my last) episode of Nanny 911 tonight. I think they should just called it Please, British Lady - Raise My Kids! Again, gay people shouldn't be married because...?

The Pope died this weekend. The way the networks were holding vigil you might think they'd be disappointed if he'd pulled through. Seriously, the guy lived 84 and made as much an impact as possible with his time. Did we really need to know he had a UTI in his last days? Oh and they don't call them the "Last Rites" anymore. They've called the sacrament "Anointing of the Sick" for longer than I've been alive. Nobody in these newsrooms ever heard of Vatican II?

Weird fact: I was in a sushi bar when CNN announced JPII's passing. (That's not the weird part, BTW.) They play all sorts of fluffy Japanese pop tunes in this place, with a few American pop oddities sprinkled in. As we were watching the broadcast bonanza begin, "I Will Follow Him" - the version straight out of Sister Act began to play. No joke. Proof God has a wicked sense of humor? I think so.

This just in...

Dear fellow "Liberals,"*

For the love of all things holy, don't throw food at people for their opinions. (See also: here and here.)

Free speech means everyone is entitled to their opinions, however misguided you may find them. Your right to free speech enables you to speak out and have a dissenting opinion. It doesn't give you the right to assault someone, with your fists or a pie, for cryin' out loud!

You make the rest of us look bad. Moreover, you make martyrs out of people you apparently think are demon-spawn. They get the chance to walk away, gracious and with good humor intact, usually. Meanwhile, you look like the left-wingnut you are. You give Michelle Malkin good reason to pen entries like this - I can't blame her for that. She responded in the proper fashion - putting her opinions (aka "using your words). Since you folks apparently can't string together a sentence, you throw stuff. Newsflash: Tantrums aren't cute on children - on adults they're downright disgusting.

So what's my problem here? Because of our supposedly shared views, I'm guilty by association. And I don't appreciate being lumped in with idiots. Grow up or go home.

-J.

*I really hate political and ideological labels, but this one was called for.