BF & I are off to San Francisco this weekend with our friend. I'll call her the Princess from here on out. However, before we set sail, I have to share something with you, our dear readers.
I have a serious confession to make. I don't trust Willy Wonka.
I never enjoyed Willy Wonka & The Chocloate Factory as a child. I love Gene Wilder, but I never did think Willy Wonka was trustworthy. He set off my "stranger danger" alert. I really like Johnny Depp and all, but I get the same feeling about his Willy Wonka. I'm going to watch this Tim Burton remake just to give it a fair shot, but no matter how much I try, I'll never be able to shake the feeling that the ol' candy factory has a lot in common with Neverland Ranch. Charlie was duped, people! The whole thing was a set-up. A man who pumps sugar into kids and gets paid for it has no stones to throw at irresponsible parents.
For the sake of getting it all over with, I'll lay one more card down: I've never had any attachment to the original Star Wars trilogy other than nostalgia. I was only old enough to Return Of The Jedi in theaters and it didn't make much of an impact on me. So the new trilogy was pretty much lost on me when I didn't like The Phantom Menace. I've never seen Attack Of The Clones and probably never will. Ditto Revenge Of The Sith. Hayden Christensen's charms are lost on me. I adore Ewan McGregor and Natalie Portman, but George Lucas' dialogue and direction skills leave much to be desired, if you ask me. He comes up with a great story, but really should be handing these projects of to someone like Spielberg. (And that's saying a lot, since I don't think Spielberg's acheived greatness in some time.)
All of the film geeks have just stopped reading the blog permanently. I understand. I just had to share. I don't hate these movies - I just don't love them. In the circles I used to run in and in some of the circles I still do, these movies can be sacrosanct. Rest assured, my flesh and blood friends think I'm a freak for feeling this way, too. If it helps, I love The Lord Of The Rings trilogy and was moved to tears several times. And TV for me will never be right since Buffy The Vampire Slayer hung up her stakes for good.
But this is why I say "I'm geek-adjacent." I own old comics and collect action figures, but the whole sci-fi thing is lost on me. What am I doing on the Internet?!?!
-J.
This post was sponsored by the "Lose the Force, Luke" Committee.
Friday, May 27, 2005
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Random observations...
Let's recap Wednesday:
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I actually had to come home and take a nap during my lunch to get myself back together. This doesn't happen to me. I blame the full moon.
I am still not disappointed over the news that I was passed over for what amounted to an internal promotion. I never felt like I hit the interview out of the park. Eh.
I had to give up really fun plans because I have to go a freakin' Union meeting tomorrow night. Ugh.
I have played Bob Dylan's "Not Dark Yet" at least four times in the last hour. And I'm not depressed.
Lost was a letdown of a finale. I loathe needless cliffhangers. Alias was actually a lot of fun. I like it when cliffhangers have a purpose. It usually helps when main story has actually been resolved.
I am very glad Thursday is almost twenty minutes away.
****
Onto more random, more mundane stuff:
Our latest referrals. Look at number 16. and number 1 (what the hell is "fresh celebrity" anyhow?). And twice here. This seeeker was disappointed, no doubt. So was this guy, I'm sure.
Like I said, we'll take the traffic any ol' way we can.
****
What a sucky blog day from me! Better stuff is coming from my Best Friend - promise. And I'll do something with myself before this week is out...
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I actually had to come home and take a nap during my lunch to get myself back together. This doesn't happen to me. I blame the full moon.
I am still not disappointed over the news that I was passed over for what amounted to an internal promotion. I never felt like I hit the interview out of the park. Eh.
I had to give up really fun plans because I have to go a freakin' Union meeting tomorrow night. Ugh.
I have played Bob Dylan's "Not Dark Yet" at least four times in the last hour. And I'm not depressed.
Lost was a letdown of a finale. I loathe needless cliffhangers. Alias was actually a lot of fun. I like it when cliffhangers have a purpose. It usually helps when main story has actually been resolved.
I am very glad Thursday is almost twenty minutes away.
****
Onto more random, more mundane stuff:
Our latest referrals. Look at number 16. and number 1 (what the hell is "fresh celebrity" anyhow?). And twice here. This seeeker was disappointed, no doubt. So was this guy, I'm sure.
Like I said, we'll take the traffic any ol' way we can.
****
What a sucky blog day from me! Better stuff is coming from my Best Friend - promise. And I'll do something with myself before this week is out...
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
May 23, 2005
Dear B.
Today was your birthday. It's odd how time passes, almost unnoticed, until a marker like this shows up. We didn't share your last birthday, either - the wounds were too fresh and the reality hadn't set in yet. Just two weeks later, as my birthday crept up, I think we both finally got it. It took almost a month after that to say it out loud, but we came around.
It was brought to my attention recently that I talk about you too much - I took it as a sign that I haven't quite moved on yet. When it hit me that today was your day, I knew immediately today was the day. The time came to cut you loose a long time ago. I said it, I thought I'd done it, but I hadn't. I won't forget, nor will I pretend I never knew you. We met when we were children, and I feel like we were children when we parted, too. Now I let go, on your birthday, as an adult.
Star Wars finally ended this year. You love those movies so. It's fitting then that my half of our journey should end in earnest right about now. It really is time we both moved on to other things, after all. Your birthday is almost over and mine is almost upon us. My gift to me is to leave this where it is. Maybe you need it more than I.
I wish you well now as I wished you well that night. I meant it then and I mean it now. Have a nice life. And Happy Birthday.
-J.
Today was your birthday. It's odd how time passes, almost unnoticed, until a marker like this shows up. We didn't share your last birthday, either - the wounds were too fresh and the reality hadn't set in yet. Just two weeks later, as my birthday crept up, I think we both finally got it. It took almost a month after that to say it out loud, but we came around.
It was brought to my attention recently that I talk about you too much - I took it as a sign that I haven't quite moved on yet. When it hit me that today was your day, I knew immediately today was the day. The time came to cut you loose a long time ago. I said it, I thought I'd done it, but I hadn't. I won't forget, nor will I pretend I never knew you. We met when we were children, and I feel like we were children when we parted, too. Now I let go, on your birthday, as an adult.
Star Wars finally ended this year. You love those movies so. It's fitting then that my half of our journey should end in earnest right about now. It really is time we both moved on to other things, after all. Your birthday is almost over and mine is almost upon us. My gift to me is to leave this where it is. Maybe you need it more than I.
I wish you well now as I wished you well that night. I meant it then and I mean it now. Have a nice life. And Happy Birthday.
-J.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Goodnight, Mr. Gorshin.
Frank Gorshin, most recently seen playing George Burns on Broadway in Say Goodnight Gracie, has died. He was a fabulousy talented actor (I caught him in Guys & Dolls in Vegas of all places!) and a gracious, funny guy when I saw him a few years ago at an appearance with Julie Newmar & Adam West. For my childhood, he was the Riddler brought to life and ever will be. He will be missed.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Weekend!!!
In our first joint publishing venture, BF & Jay Six(in red) are proud to present
Knowing full well that this was a casual affair, we still put on our finest button downs. So not only were we the newbies (how long has it been since we've been that?!?!), we were obvious newbies. Yeah, I was a lil' embarrassed about that. I felt so Catholic being dressed up. Damn guilt. But everyone was really nice(and how!!!) and we enjoyed the service a lot. Jason gave a talk from the heart and was ever the cutie we expected. But being slightly shy, we didn't approach him right away. We did go over to KooKooRoo, where we were treated to a lovely lunch and got to meet some great people. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jason leaving. I couldn't let this moment pass - I ran to him and introduced myself. The curtain that is the world wide web was lifted. Jason was/is super sweet and it was great to meet. He really was. I looked like the jerk because I stayed at the table talking to someone. I didn't want to be rude and bolt out of that convo to start another. But Jason was sweet and came over to me. I felt my breeding had failed me. Where were my manners??? But he was nice about it. He didn't seem disgusted by my lapse in proper manners.
Well, how was that? Not bad for the first time? Our tag team post is done. Anytime we do a joint post it'll be under the name The Management. It's not someone new. Just your old fav's fused into one single mess. Stay Cool, and Have a Bitch'n Week!!!!
The Management
May 13, 2005 - May 15, 2005
The Weekend That Was: A Story in Four Acts
Friday: Miss Kitty's-
A really fun night. Our first time at Miss Kitty's is worth about three separate posts. I made out with a guy who'd made adult films - to the tune of "Love To Love You, Baby." The night's theme was a crazy camp, 80's horror movie, boyscout thing. J and I decided to opt for the more conservative Boy Scout dress code. J had a few Boy Scout shirts in his closet so we just ransacked that for our wardrobe that night. Why you ask does J have Scout uniforms on hand??? Play dress up with him and find out. *blush* Okay, sorry. Just residue kinkiness left over from Miss Kitty's. J was so cute. His outfit came complete with a Cub Scout trucker hat. Very nice touch. I got asked who my Scoutmaster was. I pointed quickly to BF. (We have an agreement: Unless the boy in question's super hot, we're a couple.)
But the best dressed that night was a guy dressed up as a giant S'More. Yup, the graham crackery, chocolatey, and marshmellowy campfire treat. The back of his oversized cardboard graham cracker read, " The Official S'More Whore.......Eat Me". It was brilliant!! When I went up to compliment him on his outfit he gave me a marshmallow. He had a bag to pass them out. How thoughtful!! He was nice. I was concerned because the guy was obviously tweaking - what if he'd spiked the marshmallow?!?!
Then we danced to bad music that went on for-evah. Last time I went it was way better. Tru dat - I danced to "I Love Rock 'n' Roll and heard BillyIdol last time. But we managed to boogie off the calories from our drinks and have a good time. The best part of the night was the sausage sucking competition. We saw a guy deep throat two ends of a huge kilbasa. At. Once. Wow. He was a circus or circuit performer. Talented, just talented. But we had to get up early the next day, so we left around midnight thirty...
Saturday: Pt. 1 The Alex Theatre-
I love LA and it's history so I find things to do that reinforce my love of this crazy town. I talked J into going on the tour of The Alex Theater. He actually is starting to fall for my brainwashings and is becoming more like me when it comes to LA. But actually we both like doing cultural things to keep our brains from rotting and this one was perfect- it was free! The best phrase in the world. Beside's free Steve Madden Shoe Day. But that doesn't happen enough...or ever. The tour itself started at 10:00 a.m. A little early but we were prompt because we were still in Boy Scout mode. The tour went through the the whole theater. A real behind the scenes tour. We got to see dressing rooms, and the projection room. The stage and the balcony. They were setting up for a concert that night and that only added to the splendor of this palace. The tech guy portion of the tour was a little snoozey but other than that two thumbs up!!! Oh yeah one other thing...it was Free!!!! Can't really complain. Here are two more shots from our tour....
Saturday: Pt. 2 Lucifer's Four Seasons Birthday Party-
Okay, our friend is crazy just like us. So when we get together with her and her fabulous husband, we turn into the road company of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest: The Musical. We had such fun and I got to actually eat real food. I made chocolate dipped strawberries and J made his popular goat cheese pizza. BF neglected to mention he also made a wonderful hummus pizza. YUM. YUM. We also made super chocolate explosion brownies. Here's the recipe: One packet of double chocolate brownies. Add egg, oil, water, & chocolate chips. Bake according to directions. Let cool briefly and smear with chocolate frosting. Serve with cold milk. Develop immediate sugar rush and possibly diabetes. Yum indeed.
When we all get together we play board games. Sounds old persony but we play for keeps. J and I always pick fights with each other when we're on opposing sides. Actually we fight when we're on the same team but we especially get nasty when competing with each other.
We came up with the four seasons by accident. We throw crazy parties and we have to have a theme for each one. Our Very Merry Virgin Mary X-mas Party is the stuff of dreams. So we made crowns for us to wear and we accidentally came up with crowns that represented the season in which we were born in. I was winter, J was summer, Lucifer was spring and her husband was fall. We all compliment each other well. It only makes sense why J and I fight so hard. We're opposite seasons and we just can't be nice about it. Yes we can, stupid. Oh...
We had fun and Par-Tayed until 2:30 or something late. I actually started falling asleep before the last game was quite over and yet I still almost won!
So J and I are big fans of Jason's Room Blog and we recently read about his upcoming talk at the WeHo Church. It was rather good timing since I've been itching to get back into a church groove and J and I have never been to a gay (or even gay-friendly) church before. So everything alligned brilliantly and we decided to go see Jason talk rather than type.
We rolled out of bed more exhausted than a fluffer on old timers night (nice one). But we had to pull ourselves together to look good enough not to scare Jason so bad that he would never want to meet internet people again. So with a pound of spackle, product and lotion we gussied ourselves up enough so we wouldn't get confused with zombies having a bad hair day and we headed over to Boy's Town. Now we're both actually rather surprisingly shy. I'm not sure if that comes across in our blog, but we are. So meeting people for the first time is fun but a little hard. Meeting people and sex with strangers are oddly similar acts. Actually, sex with strangers is easier.
Well, how was that? Not bad for the first time? Our tag team post is done. Anytime we do a joint post it'll be under the name The Management. It's not someone new. Just your old fav's fused into one single mess. Stay Cool, and Have a Bitch'n Week!!!!
The Management
Friday, May 13, 2005
Thursday, May 12, 2005
The World's Greatest Harmonica Player
Tonight on the bus home from the gym, I had the most amazing encounter ever. There were very few seats and one of them happened to be next to the requisite homeless guy on the bus. He was dirty, smelled of alcohol, and held a tattered Bible in his lap. I noticed there was one seat open toward the back and one in the middle. But tonight those were not meant for me.
Get out of your comfort zone, my inner monologue insisted.
So I did - without hesistation I sat down next to him. After a sharp turn, he made a joke about centrifugal force knocking him out of his seat. He introduced himself as Daniel and asked me my name.
"Jay." I extended my hand and he shook it warmly.
"Short for Jason?"
"Just Jay."
"Not like Jason & the Argonauts, then?"
"Nope."
"Well, Jay - would you like to sign my Bible?"
"Sign it?," I asked, not sure if I'd heard right.
He opened it to a map of the Holy Lands - it was filled with signatures, as were both the front and back inside flap .
"You can sign here in the Mediterranean Sea." Honored, I took his pen and signed, "Daniel - God Bless. Jay." I'm not religious at all, but I meant every word of it. For a few short minutes we talked - he told of how he was headed to the hospital at the end of the bus route, how he'd just been to court (I never did find out why), and showed me a few of the signatures, making sure to tell me a little bit about each person with whom he had shared his Bible. He joked as he flipped the pages, "The Pope's in here somewhere. Just kidding - don't want the electricity to come get me." We talked of his time as a Marine in Vietnam, his estrangement from his family, of my cousin in the Marines. Near the end of our time together, he turned to me and said, "Jay, I may be an old dirty drunk, but God's looked out for me. I've fought like a lion but kept the heart of a lamb. No matter what life throws at you, try and do the same."
I was speechless - and my stop was fast approaching.
Without missing a beat, he then told me he was the best harmonica player I'd ever meet.
"Ever heard of John Popper, Jay?"
"Definitely."
"Well, he's the only one better'n me."
I told him my stop was next. "I'll play a short one for you then." It was the most beautiful music I've ever heard in my life.
As I stood up, he thanked me for sitting with him.
"Anytime, Daniel. God bless. Take care of yourself"
"I'm trying. God bless you more, Jay."
If circumstances had been different, I'd have stayed on that bus until Daniel's stop. I'd have gone to the hospital with him, sat and talked for hours. But I had groceries in hand and work the next morning. The ten minutes (!) we had were all we were fated to, I guess. Keeping that lamb's heart is a challenge I take seriously.
And I will never hear another harmonica again without thinking of Daniel.
This post was sponsored by the Life Is Sweet Committee.
Get out of your comfort zone, my inner monologue insisted.
So I did - without hesistation I sat down next to him. After a sharp turn, he made a joke about centrifugal force knocking him out of his seat. He introduced himself as Daniel and asked me my name.
"Jay." I extended my hand and he shook it warmly.
"Short for Jason?"
"Just Jay."
"Not like Jason & the Argonauts, then?"
"Nope."
"Well, Jay - would you like to sign my Bible?"
"Sign it?," I asked, not sure if I'd heard right.
He opened it to a map of the Holy Lands - it was filled with signatures, as were both the front and back inside flap .
"You can sign here in the Mediterranean Sea." Honored, I took his pen and signed, "Daniel - God Bless. Jay." I'm not religious at all, but I meant every word of it. For a few short minutes we talked - he told of how he was headed to the hospital at the end of the bus route, how he'd just been to court (I never did find out why), and showed me a few of the signatures, making sure to tell me a little bit about each person with whom he had shared his Bible. He joked as he flipped the pages, "The Pope's in here somewhere. Just kidding - don't want the electricity to come get me." We talked of his time as a Marine in Vietnam, his estrangement from his family, of my cousin in the Marines. Near the end of our time together, he turned to me and said, "Jay, I may be an old dirty drunk, but God's looked out for me. I've fought like a lion but kept the heart of a lamb. No matter what life throws at you, try and do the same."
I was speechless - and my stop was fast approaching.
Without missing a beat, he then told me he was the best harmonica player I'd ever meet.
"Ever heard of John Popper, Jay?"
"Definitely."
"Well, he's the only one better'n me."
I told him my stop was next. "I'll play a short one for you then." It was the most beautiful music I've ever heard in my life.
As I stood up, he thanked me for sitting with him.
"Anytime, Daniel. God bless. Take care of yourself"
"I'm trying. God bless you more, Jay."
If circumstances had been different, I'd have stayed on that bus until Daniel's stop. I'd have gone to the hospital with him, sat and talked for hours. But I had groceries in hand and work the next morning. The ten minutes (!) we had were all we were fated to, I guess. Keeping that lamb's heart is a challenge I take seriously.
And I will never hear another harmonica again without thinking of Daniel.
This post was sponsored by the Life Is Sweet Committee.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
We've been tagged! -UPDATE-
Most blog frequenters have seen this one, I'm sure. (Christ, but it's a pain to paste this into the Blogger window!) MattyMcMattMatt tagged us, with the hopes of getting both of us to do this. I'll leave the fireman answer for BF... DAMN Right you'll leave the fireman to me!!! Okay, BF here. I've added on my shit in red. Enjoy.
Here are the rules: Pick 5 occupations out of the list and complete the phrase. Add a couple of your own occupations to the end of the list and then pass it on to at least 3 people.
The List:
If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...(by Ogre)
If I could be a bonnie pirate...(By Teach)
If I could be a servicemember...(By Jeremy)
If I could be a business owner...(By Blue 944)
If I could be an actor... (By Blue 944)
If I could be an agent...(By KelBel)
If I could be video game designer...(By KelBel)
If I could be a comic book artist...(By Stoli)
If I could be a hooker...(By Pollo Loco)
If I could be a crack addict (by Elizabeth)
If I could be a porn star (by Elizabeth)
If I could be a mime (by Garrison)
If I could be a domestic engineer (by Rick)
If I could be a chimney sweep (by laine)
If I could be a masseuse (by laine)
If I could be a taxi driver (by Brian)
If I could be a priest (by Brian)
If I could be a window cleaner (by Grace)
If I could be a gynecologist (by Grace)
If I could be a world leader...(by Scott)
If I could be a healer...(by Scott)
If I could be a proctologist...(by Dave)
If I could be a carpenter...(by Dave)
If I could be a reality-tv star...(by jason)
If I could be a go-go boy... (by jason)
If I could be a PR rep... (by Matty McMattMatt)
If I could be a fireman... (by Matty McMattMatt)
If I could be a vampire...(JaySix)
If I could be a dog...(JaySix)
If I could be a Circus Freak...(BF)
If I could be a Laker Girl....(BF)
If I could be an Oscar Mayer Wiener...(BF)
If I could be a reality-tv star…I’d go on TV and talk all of the shit about people that celebrities aren’t supposed to talk. I would surpass Omarosa’s infamy and yet remain completely likeable. Sure, I'm less gay than Cojo or Bobby Trendy, but also way less annoying. And maybe I'd get to sleep with Jai!
If I could be a PR rep...I’d have a long talk with Katie Holmes and Renee Zelwegger.
If I could be an innkeeper...I’d turn away every young couple with child, whether there is room or not. I hear the story turns out better if you do that.
If I could be a comic book artist...I’d create a Batman storyline where Robin finally realizes how queer his “Boy Wonder” outfit is and gives in. After hitting unsuccesfully on Superboy, he’ll ditch the Batcave and start hanging around Wonder Woman, becoming her new sidekick: Wonder Boy.
If I could be a PR rep...I’d have a long talk with Katie Holmes and Renee Zelwegger.
If I could be an innkeeper...I’d turn away every young couple with child, whether there is room or not. I hear the story turns out better if you do that.
If I could be a comic book artist...I’d create a Batman storyline where Robin finally realizes how queer his “Boy Wonder” outfit is and gives in. After hitting unsuccesfully on Superboy, he’ll ditch the Batcave and start hanging around Wonder Woman, becoming her new sidekick: Wonder Boy.
If I could be a priest…well I did go to a high school seminary for a brief time (long story - a post for another day). So it could have happened, scarily enough. I’d go to Massachsuetts and marry as many gay couples as possible, creating an interesting quandry for the Catholic Church.
I'm at a loss as to who I should tag. My sister has a baby blog - she's a good start. I can't see Jake doing this, but I'll tag him anyhow. And why not tag Trent just for kicks? Maybe peer pressure will favor me for once.
-J.
This post was sponsored by the Memememe!! Committee.
If I could be a fireman... I'd get hosed all the time. At least that's what my nightly fantasies tell me. I don't know why but firemen are hot...no pun intended.
If I could be a video game designer...I would design the first totally gay video game. Like, GAY!!! The main character would be Dorothy from Wizard of Oz and her mission would be to violently eradicate Homophobia from the world. Along the way she'd pick up other warrior sidekicks like Cher and Tina Turner. The end of the game would be a sexplosion of hot guys in a locker room. Now you see why I'm not a video game designer.
If I could be a Vampire....I would make Martha Stewart immortal. Granted she's some kind of a witch already so making her a vampire wouldn't be much of a change. This way she'll live forever and I could always pick up a new issue of Living. Then it'll be funny having a "dead" vampire publish a magazine called Living.
If I could be a carpenter...I'd start a religion and have rainy days and mondays always bring me down.
If I were a Porn Star.....I'd fart and burp during the most inappropriate times. That would be my gimmick. I'd be so aloof and I'd act like I was balancing my check book during scenes. I don't know, but that makes me laugh. Okay, it's late and I'm not coming up with real winners here so thems the breaks kids. Thanks Matty for the tag. That's it for me.
-BF
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Riding The Bus With My Sister Some Girl
Given my early inclination toward kissing boys, I don't know how much "in the closet" I ever was. At any given point, somebody else always seemed to know. It's true that my actions were usually behind closed doors. But those the doors were definitely made of shatterproof glass. At least, I always thought so.
Of course everybody didn't know. I wasn't one of those swishy kids who everyone looked at cross-eyed as he sashayed around the playground. I was almost always Superman when we played SuperFriends - hardly ever Wonder Woman (although who could resist wearing the bracelets and tying people up?). In early high school I even dated girls a little. Granted, nothing ever came of these brief experiences. But keeping in the closet has had it's advantages from time to time. For instance:
One day a few years ago I was traveling on the bus to get to work, which was odd since I usually took the train. But I was on an odd schedule, so I couldn't take my usual train. It was a particularly packed day, so I did something I never do: I went straight to the back and found an open seat. (When riding the bus, I usually prefer to sit in the middle by the exit.) Almost as soon as I sat down, she saw me. A thin, pretty, blonde got out of her seat and asked if she could sit down next to me. It's a free country, was how my internal monologue responded, but this wasn't one of those free-spirited-girls-meets-uptight-boy-and-love-ensues romantic comedies. So instead I said, "Sure." "By the way, are you gay or just really feminine?" I must have looked offended, so she backpedaled. I finally just lied: "No. And I didn't think I was feminine. Thanks!" Silence would have followed for a normal person, but she kept going. As people in these stories tend to be, she was very forthcoming right off the bat - small talk at first, then the big guns come out. She was riding the bus all the way into Downtown. Fair enough - I was only going about halfway there. She had to pay some money back to someone. OK. I was headed to work. And then the details started to draw me in.
It seems this girl (I never did catch her name) had recently given up a pretty bad crack addiction. She lived for a while in one of those rundown hotels L.A.'s got so many of downtown. She was hooking for a while and running with some gang - Sixth Street, maybe? where they didn't like her because she was white. She was jumped in and spiraled pretty quickly. But she was all better now - she'd moved back in with her father, gotten a job and definitely given up crack. She was very proud of the fact that she'd put on 10 lbs. (I was hard pressed to find it, for the record.)
At last, it came time for my stop. As I stood up and announced my exit, she asked for my phone number. I hesitated, but gave in finally. I wrote down a number that hadn't been mine for years, never to hear from or see her again. I often wonder if she ever came back or if the city swallowed her up that day.
It's the little decisions in life that always make the difference. If I'd taken the train, I'd never have been at the back of the bus. If I'd sat in the middle of the bus, she might not have seen me. And if I'd come out to her, the conversation we had might never have taken place. I'm not advocating being in the closet at all, but my brief return that day gave me this story to tell. Go figure.
-J.
This post was sponsored by the Staying In Committee.
Of course everybody didn't know. I wasn't one of those swishy kids who everyone looked at cross-eyed as he sashayed around the playground. I was almost always Superman when we played SuperFriends - hardly ever Wonder Woman (although who could resist wearing the bracelets and tying people up?). In early high school I even dated girls a little. Granted, nothing ever came of these brief experiences. But keeping in the closet has had it's advantages from time to time. For instance:
One day a few years ago I was traveling on the bus to get to work, which was odd since I usually took the train. But I was on an odd schedule, so I couldn't take my usual train. It was a particularly packed day, so I did something I never do: I went straight to the back and found an open seat. (When riding the bus, I usually prefer to sit in the middle by the exit.) Almost as soon as I sat down, she saw me. A thin, pretty, blonde got out of her seat and asked if she could sit down next to me. It's a free country, was how my internal monologue responded, but this wasn't one of those free-spirited-girls-meets-uptight-boy-and-love-ensues romantic comedies. So instead I said, "Sure." "By the way, are you gay or just really feminine?" I must have looked offended, so she backpedaled. I finally just lied: "No. And I didn't think I was feminine. Thanks!" Silence would have followed for a normal person, but she kept going. As people in these stories tend to be, she was very forthcoming right off the bat - small talk at first, then the big guns come out. She was riding the bus all the way into Downtown. Fair enough - I was only going about halfway there. She had to pay some money back to someone. OK. I was headed to work. And then the details started to draw me in.
It seems this girl (I never did catch her name) had recently given up a pretty bad crack addiction. She lived for a while in one of those rundown hotels L.A.'s got so many of downtown. She was hooking for a while and running with some gang - Sixth Street, maybe? where they didn't like her because she was white. She was jumped in and spiraled pretty quickly. But she was all better now - she'd moved back in with her father, gotten a job and definitely given up crack. She was very proud of the fact that she'd put on 10 lbs. (I was hard pressed to find it, for the record.)
At last, it came time for my stop. As I stood up and announced my exit, she asked for my phone number. I hesitated, but gave in finally. I wrote down a number that hadn't been mine for years, never to hear from or see her again. I often wonder if she ever came back or if the city swallowed her up that day.
It's the little decisions in life that always make the difference. If I'd taken the train, I'd never have been at the back of the bus. If I'd sat in the middle of the bus, she might not have seen me. And if I'd come out to her, the conversation we had might never have taken place. I'm not advocating being in the closet at all, but my brief return that day gave me this story to tell. Go figure.
-J.
This post was sponsored by the Staying In Committee.
Monday, May 09, 2005
Elephant Babes In Thai, er Tottyland...
One of my daily addictions must-reads has linked to lil' ol' us. A BIG thanks to Bill over in Tottyland for the traffic and the shout out.
And Hello! to all Tottyland visitors. Dig in and enjoy!
If you're one our three regular readers, make sure to visit Tottyland and give our thanks.
Oh, and don't forget:
Tottyland! Tottyland! Tottyland!
This post was sponsored by the Thank You Tottyland! Committee.
And Hello! to all Tottyland visitors. Dig in and enjoy!
If you're one our three regular readers, make sure to visit Tottyland and give our thanks.
Oh, and don't forget:
Tottyland! Tottyland! Tottyland!
This post was sponsored by the Thank You Tottyland! Committee.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
10 Reasons Why I Love L.A.
(Not necessarily a Top ten, but a good showing of why I love the town I live in.)
KCRW - I am a proud subscriber to this public station - easily the best radio I've turned my dial to. Morning Becomes Eclectic is just the tip of the iceberg. If you don't live in L.A., you can still stream most of the broadcasts if you have a decent enough connection.
The Last Remaining Seats - Previously mentioned by my partner in crime (not in life, people...) , this is a great opportunity to see some classic movie palaces and some classic cinema. I'm torn this year because the same night To Have and Have Not screens at the Alex, Outfest Wednesdays is showing Whatever Happened To Baby Jane? at the Egyptian. What's a good 'Mo to do?
Olvera Street - A little slice of Mexico in the heart of Downtown El Centro. A special treat at any time, it becomes muy especial on nights like Cinco De Mayo (tonight!) or my favorite, Dio De Los Muertos (the Mexican Day of the Dead). Food is the star attraction (how can you wrong with 50 cent churros?), but you can't go wrong with just about any of the little cultural nuances here.
The Hollywood Bowl - Cher said goodbye to touring at this landmark just last weekend. But fear not - the Bowl still offers many pleasures to music lovers of all kinds. This summer's series looks to be exceptional - Tony Bennett (a Bowl staple) & Chaka Khan (with orchestra!) are just two on a brilliant roster. You can bring a picnic, buy food there, and stare at the stars while listening to classical, pop, rock, jazz, or anything else your heart desires.
Amoeba Records - Best. Music. Store. Ever. In-store appearances galore at this place. If you're a music geek, or if you're attracted to music geeks, this should be the center of your universe. Vinyl hounds like us tend to dig through the $1 record bins and find all sorts of prize platters.
Phillippe’s - They claim to have invented the French-dipped sandwich, but even if they're exaggerating, the sandwiches are damn good. And the menu is so cheap, be sure to buy two or three lemonades.
LACMA - King Tut's coming back this year. And if you're into modern art, this place is for you. If you're not, this is still the place for you. I love just walking around this museum and don't go anywhere near often enough.
Bergamot Station - I love love love trains and train stations. So to turn an old station into a culture hub and gallery space is a slice of heaven to me. There's a lot of variety in these spaces - and even a cafe to stuff your face at in between high priced purchases. I once saw a painting of Dennis Hopper's there.
Hollywood Sunset Free Clinic - The absolute coolest concert I ever attended was the first ever Silver Lining benefit for this community resource. Just like you would expect, it provides a whole spectrum of free medical services. About the concert, you ask? Rufus Wainwright, Aimee Mann and Beck performed in the backyard of an old mansion in Silverlake, while Christina Ricci and Rupert Everett perused the silent auction, drank, and sampled delicious treats from local restaurants. (I had the best lamb chili ever at this benefit. But I digress...) While free clinics are not unusual from city to city, but this one obviously has friends in high places. Which brings to the last item on this list:
Stargazing - Similarly, there is no denying this fact: most folks can't separate Los Angeles from Hollywood. (It's like thinking Kleenextm instead of tissue.) For a few years, Corey Feldman and I ran into each other everywhere I went. He might have thought I was stalking him, but this was before his Surreal Life comeback, so I'd say it was more likely he was stalking me. My roommate had a similar series of encounters with Corbin Bernsen. Cameron Diaz and I have attended some of the same concerts. Ditto kd lang. And a waiter at Jerry's Famous Deli who I had a crush on ended up on General Hospital for a time. It's true - the Biz is everywhere, but if you don't want it to annoy you, do like I do: observe it from up close while making fun of it.
So there you have it. A little sampling of why I actually like living in L.A. There's not enough of that out there these days. I'm sure BF will blow this piece away with one of his own in the near future - if I love L.A. then he makes love to it. Tomorrow or this weekend, we'll give a report on our Cinco De Mayo festivities at Olvera Street...
-L.A. J.
p.s. Just so you know, this post was intentionall dressed in all black to give an L.A. chic to it. Call it a nod to our recent unofficial Fashion Week.
This post was sponsored by the Civic Pride Committee.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Oh my God - it's an earthquake.
Hat tip to this blog's good friend, Adam, who posted little quiz this among the various polls he took today!) UPDATE: (05/04/05) 10:05pm PST - It has come to my attention that Matt brought Adam to the quizzes. So the hat tip gets split 50/50 on this one. Play nice and share, boys!
Also:
And finally:
American Cities That Best Fit You: |
| 65% Los Angeles |
| 65% San Diego |
| 65% Washington, DC |
| 60% Chicago |
| 60% Honolulu |
I guess I was just made to live in L.A. - or at least California in general. Go figure!
Also:
| Your Japanese Name Is... |
 |
(Oddly, this caricature kinda looks like me!)
And finally:
Monday, May 02, 2005
Coming Out. Part 2
Four Wheeled Confessional (aka Riding in Cars with Boys Who Like Boys)
This one's a less linear reflection of the coming out process. I've noticed something as I think back on the times I came out to someone. It's happened in cars pretty often. Besides being a great place to have sex when you're a teenager, the backseat of a car is a lot like a psychiatrist's couch. Something about all of that space makes people more chatty. Once again, the names have been changed to protect all involved, including our readers...
I came out to two friends at 16 on the way home from a traumatic round miniature golf (when you're 16, every non-masturbatory event turns traumatic, at least briefly). I was miserable because the two guys I was closest to in the world didn't know who I really was. After some hemming and hawing, it finally just spewed forth. Stunned silence followed. Tom, in the driver's seat, stared ahead and went about driving like nothing happened. To fill in the space, I went on a stream of consciousness rant about how kissing boys was reallya lot like kissing girls, only usually more aggressive. It was in the middle of this that Jamie, in the passenger seat, sat straight up turned around and said, "Wait a minute, J. Are you saying you're gay?" Laughter erupted and the tension was cut permanently. Jamie and I are still great friends and I'm always quick to remind him of that when he starts to get to big for his britches.
Does hitting on an unsuspecting guy count as coming out? Because that's how it worked the night Sky Masterson drove me home after a rehearsal of our high school production of Guys & Dolls. He was actually beyond OK with me being gay. The problem was that he was straighter than an arrow. Actually, that was the problem with most guys I liked back then. Oddly, Sky seemed more willing to let me help him with his quick changes in between scenes after he found out. Go figure - I wasn't complaining.
When I was 21, my Dad asked me point blank on the way home from somewhere if I was gay. I told him yes and he proceeded to tell me that he thought so and just wanted to know because he wanted me to know that was OK with him. We haven't really talked about it since, but that might have something to do with the fact that when he told my Mom just a few weeks later, she freaked and didn't speak to me for almost two weeks. Or it could just be that my family doesn't speak to each other about anything of consequence. Yeah, it's probably that.
(By the way, my third choice for a title this time around was Driving Sideways. I think back on my experiences now and wonder how I didn't cause at least one accident for all of the times I came out on the 405 freeway.)
This one's a less linear reflection of the coming out process. I've noticed something as I think back on the times I came out to someone. It's happened in cars pretty often. Besides being a great place to have sex when you're a teenager, the backseat of a car is a lot like a psychiatrist's couch. Something about all of that space makes people more chatty. Once again, the names have been changed to protect all involved, including our readers...
I came out to two friends at 16 on the way home from a traumatic round miniature golf (when you're 16, every non-masturbatory event turns traumatic, at least briefly). I was miserable because the two guys I was closest to in the world didn't know who I really was. After some hemming and hawing, it finally just spewed forth. Stunned silence followed. Tom, in the driver's seat, stared ahead and went about driving like nothing happened. To fill in the space, I went on a stream of consciousness rant about how kissing boys was reallya lot like kissing girls, only usually more aggressive. It was in the middle of this that Jamie, in the passenger seat, sat straight up turned around and said, "Wait a minute, J. Are you saying you're gay?" Laughter erupted and the tension was cut permanently. Jamie and I are still great friends and I'm always quick to remind him of that when he starts to get to big for his britches.
Does hitting on an unsuspecting guy count as coming out? Because that's how it worked the night Sky Masterson drove me home after a rehearsal of our high school production of Guys & Dolls. He was actually beyond OK with me being gay. The problem was that he was straighter than an arrow. Actually, that was the problem with most guys I liked back then. Oddly, Sky seemed more willing to let me help him with his quick changes in between scenes after he found out. Go figure - I wasn't complaining.
When I was 21, my Dad asked me point blank on the way home from somewhere if I was gay. I told him yes and he proceeded to tell me that he thought so and just wanted to know because he wanted me to know that was OK with him. We haven't really talked about it since, but that might have something to do with the fact that when he told my Mom just a few weeks later, she freaked and didn't speak to me for almost two weeks. Or it could just be that my family doesn't speak to each other about anything of consequence. Yeah, it's probably that.
(By the way, my third choice for a title this time around was Driving Sideways. I think back on my experiences now and wonder how I didn't cause at least one accident for all of the times I came out on the 405 freeway.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
