BF & I are off to San Francisco this weekend with our friend. I'll call her the Princess from here on out. However, before we set sail, I have to share something with you, our dear readers.
I have a serious confession to make. I don't trust Willy Wonka.
I never enjoyed Willy Wonka & The Chocloate Factory as a child. I love Gene Wilder, but I never did think Willy Wonka was trustworthy. He set off my "stranger danger" alert. I really like Johnny Depp and all, but I get the same feeling about his Willy Wonka. I'm going to watch this Tim Burton remake just to give it a fair shot, but no matter how much I try, I'll never be able to shake the feeling that the ol' candy factory has a lot in common with Neverland Ranch. Charlie was duped, people! The whole thing was a set-up. A man who pumps sugar into kids and gets paid for it has no stones to throw at irresponsible parents.
For the sake of getting it all over with, I'll lay one more card down: I've never had any attachment to the original Star Wars trilogy other than nostalgia. I was only old enough to Return Of The Jedi in theaters and it didn't make much of an impact on me. So the new trilogy was pretty much lost on me when I didn't like The Phantom Menace. I've never seen Attack Of The Clones and probably never will. Ditto Revenge Of The Sith. Hayden Christensen's charms are lost on me. I adore Ewan McGregor and Natalie Portman, but George Lucas' dialogue and direction skills leave much to be desired, if you ask me. He comes up with a great story, but really should be handing these projects of to someone like Spielberg. (And that's saying a lot, since I don't think Spielberg's acheived greatness in some time.)
All of the film geeks have just stopped reading the blog permanently. I understand. I just had to share. I don't hate these movies - I just don't love them. In the circles I used to run in and in some of the circles I still do, these movies can be sacrosanct. Rest assured, my flesh and blood friends think I'm a freak for feeling this way, too. If it helps, I love The Lord Of The Rings trilogy and was moved to tears several times. And TV for me will never be right since Buffy The Vampire Slayer hung up her stakes for good.
But this is why I say "I'm geek-adjacent." I own old comics and collect action figures, but the whole sci-fi thing is lost on me. What am I doing on the Internet?!?!
-J.
This post was sponsored by the "Lose the Force, Luke" Committee.
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5 comments:
Don't worry about it. Real film geeks don't care much for the prequels either. It's just the plain-geeks who are religious about George Lucas and the crappy dialog he writes. You should see the third movie anyway. At least it _kind of_ explains how darth vader came to be (and don't tell me you wouldn't totally rock it if you could wear a black full-length cape).
Johnny Depp as Willie Wonkie gives me the jeepers. And have you ever seen Life as a House?
Oh, and P.S.: Weren't we promised pictures of some sort?
I think I've only seen the original Star Wars, and Johnny Deep in general gives me the creeps.
I don't think my life is any less fulfilling by having those two thoughts.
Whoa. I'd readily admit that Lucas isn't the greatest director, but he's definitely more enjoyable to watch than Spielberg. I have yet to see a Spielberg movie that I enjoyed. I hate that guy.
As for Willy Wonka, Burton & Depp together should be good. The only thing I didn't like with both of their names on it was Sleepy Hollow, which I
just thought was boring.
Revenge of the Sith wasn't bad. It was actually quite good if you went into it knowing that the dialogue would suck and just watched it for the action. Lucas is wonderful at directing action.
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