We've been tagged! -UPDATE-

Most blog frequenters have seen this one, I'm sure. (Christ, but it's a pain to paste this into the Blogger window!) MattyMcMattMatt tagged us, with the hopes of getting both of us to do this. I'll leave the fireman answer for BF... DAMN Right you'll leave the fireman to me!!! Okay, BF here. I've added on my shit in red. Enjoy.

Here are the rules: Pick 5 occupations out of the list and complete the phrase. Add a couple of your own occupations to the end of the list and then pass it on to at least 3 people.

The List:

If I could be a scientist...

If I could be a farmer...

If I could be a musician...

If I could be a doctor...

If I could be a painter...

If I could be a gardener...

If I could be a missionary...

If I could be a chef...

If I could be an architect...

If I could be a linguist...

If I could be a psychologist...

If I could be a librarian...

If I could be an athlete...

If I could be a lawyer...

If I could be an innkeeper...

If I could be a professor...

If I could be a writer...

If I could be a llama-rider...(by Ogre)

If I could be a bonnie pirate...(By Teach)

If I could be a servicemember...(By Jeremy)

If I could be a business owner...(By Blue 944)

If I could be an actor... (By Blue 944)

If I could be an agent...(By KelBel)

If I could be video game designer...(By KelBel)

If I could be a comic book artist...(By Stoli)

If I could be a hooker...(By Pollo Loco)

If I could be a crack addict (by Elizabeth)

If I could be a porn star (by Elizabeth)

If I could be a mime (by Garrison)

If I could be a domestic engineer (by Rick)

If I could be a chimney sweep (by laine)

If I could be a masseuse (by laine)

If I could be a taxi driver (by Brian)

If I could be a priest (by Brian)

If I could be a window cleaner (by Grace)

If I could be a gynecologist (by Grace)

If I could be a world leader...(by Scott)

If I could be a healer...(by Scott)

If I could be a proctologist...(by Dave)

If I could be a carpenter...(by Dave)

If I could be a reality-tv star...(by jason)

If I could be a go-go boy... (by jason)

If I could be a PR rep... (by Matty McMattMatt)

If I could be a fireman... (by Matty McMattMatt)

If I could be a vampire...(JaySix)

If I could be a dog...(JaySix)

If I could be a Circus Freak...(BF)

If I could be a Laker Girl....(BF)

If I could be an Oscar Mayer Wiener...(BF)

If I could be a reality-tv star…I’d go on TV and talk all of the shit about people that celebrities aren’t supposed to talk. I would surpass Omarosa’s infamy and yet remain completely likeable. Sure, I'm less gay than Cojo or Bobby Trendy, but also way less annoying. And maybe I'd get to sleep with Jai!

If I could be a PR rep...I’d have a long talk with Katie Holmes and Renee Zelwegger.

If I could be an innkeeper...I’d turn away every young couple with child, whether there is room or not. I hear the story turns out better if you do that.

If I could be a comic book artist...I’d create a Batman storyline where Robin finally realizes how queer his “Boy Wonder” outfit is and gives in. After hitting unsuccesfully on Superboy, he’ll ditch the Batcave and start hanging around Wonder Woman, becoming her new sidekick: Wonder Boy.

If I could be a priest…well I did go to a high school seminary for a brief time (long story - a post for another day). So it could have happened, scarily enough. I’d go to Massachsuetts and marry as many gay couples as possible, creating an interesting quandry for the Catholic Church.

I'm at a loss as to who I should tag. My sister has a baby blog - she's a good start. I can't see Jake doing this, but I'll tag him anyhow. And why not tag Trent just for kicks? Maybe peer pressure will favor me for once.

-J.

This post was sponsored by the Memememe!! Committee.

If I could be a fireman... I'd get hosed all the time. At least that's what my nightly fantasies tell me. I don't know why but firemen are hot...no pun intended.

If I could be a video game designer...I would design the first totally gay video game. Like, GAY!!! The main character would be Dorothy from Wizard of Oz and her mission would be to violently eradicate Homophobia from the world. Along the way she'd pick up other warrior sidekicks like Cher and Tina Turner. The end of the game would be a sexplosion of hot guys in a locker room. Now you see why I'm not a video game designer.

If I could be a Vampire....I would make Martha Stewart immortal. Granted she's some kind of a witch already so making her a vampire wouldn't be much of a change. This way she'll live forever and I could always pick up a new issue of Living. Then it'll be funny having a "dead" vampire publish a magazine called Living.

If I could be a carpenter...I'd start a religion and have rainy days and mondays always bring me down.

If I were a Porn Star.....I'd fart and burp during the most inappropriate times. That would be my gimmick. I'd be so aloof and I'd act like I was balancing my check book during scenes. I don't know, but that makes me laugh. Okay, it's late and I'm not coming up with real winners here so thems the breaks kids. Thanks Matty for the tag. That's it for me.

-BF