I don't think that people actually get stupider as Christmas approaches. I just think the stupid congregate more freely during this time of year. In a way, it's much like what the Statue of Liberty welcomes in: tonight at the mall and later at my local Target I definitely saw the poor, the tired, and the huddled masses. You know those people who stop in the middle of the aisle - not the left, not the right, not in front a product, but right in the middle of the aisle? I hate these people. If I could, I would hit them with a cart. Luckily for them, I very rarely need a cart when I am at Target. Unluckily for me, I can also never find one of those baskets for my stuff. I always end up carrying it to the register. But I digress...
In the end, I failed to buy any gifts, save the one for my work exchange. I did buy my grandmother a gift on Saturday, but the parents and the sister are still presentless. I just can't get it together this year. Not that I'm usually together, but this year it's especially difficult. There is no rhyme or reason - it's just not happening. I know I'm going end up that typical prodigal child who sends well-wishes and gift cards or worse - cash. I hear tens and twenties will do.
Personally, I will not be celebrating Christmas this year, in case you're wondering. Just because I want to, I've decided to celebrate Hannukah. My Jewish co-worker was nice enough to give me a spare Menorah and a book on the ritual. I decorate every year in blue and silver anyway, so the color continuity's perfect. And because I don't actually have anyone to celebrate it with, I get to give myself gifts for eight nights! Also, I do like the idea of connecting with a tradition not my own.
Besides, around this time of year, Jesus would have celebrated Hannukah, right? It'd be pretty rude of him to make a big deal about his own birthday - in an inacurate month, no less! And it'd be pretty rude of us to expect him to give us gifts on his birthday. I'd hate my friends if they did that to me. So celebrating Hannukah is my way of giving Jesus a breather for his birthday.
There - now I know what to tell my mother when she asks. Shalom!
-J.
This post was sponsored by the Gentile But Firm Committee.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Well Mozel Tov J! That is kind of a fun idea. I will be surrounded by the fam though, so I think they might be a little disturbed if I put on my Yamaka during Christmas dinner.
I am with you on the non-celebration of xmas. (I don't plan on celebrating anything, actually.) There will be people in and out of my house throughout the day, but my family has come to embody the commercialism of the season. Our Christmas is completely secular - lacking an angel on the tree, attendance of religious services, or even a mention of Jesus Christ. It's sad, really.
December 25 just happens to be a handy day off for me, lol...
You probably don't remember "Welcome Back, Kotter," but Epstein was a Puerto Rican Jew. Now we've met a Mexican one. I shall call you Jayberg.
Post a Comment