It's been some time since I posted with any regularity. But that seems to be the humbug going around. Ah, the end of the year shuffle...no wonder my knee hurts.
Apparently, my family found my plans to spend Christmas without, um, plans, a little sad, cause everyone called and wished me a Merry Christmas. I didn't feel like having the whole "I'm over Christmas" discussion so I just said, "Thanks, Merry Christmas to you, too" and moved on. Little did they know I had plans indeed.
As mentioned before, I spent Christmas Eve in West Hollywood, dancing through the stroke of midnight at Micky's with FB. No matter how dead a gay club may be for the evening, throw on some Madonna and the place is suddenly full. Sure enough, once "Hung Up" started, the floor inevitably swelled with half drunk, half dressed boys - not that I think that's a bad thing. They threw in a remix of "Erotica" as an free gift! All in all, no cover charge and two strong drinks (a gin and tonic for me, thankyouvery much) later, J. had a very
The Day itself was a quiet one. I opened the gifts I got, sat around and watched TV and ate candy and junk food. I didn't even shower until 3pm. All in all, that was the best gift I ever could have given myself. To top it off, my oldest friend stopped by his old hometown and we got to hang in the evening. Sure, my inDemand programming pissed us all off by not having The Comedians of Comedy ready to go, but still, another good time was had.
Yesterday was perhaps the most atypical for me. I ventured out to the mall. Now I don't do this under normal circumstances, much less the day everyone and their grandmother decides to return their unwanted presents. But I had an Old Navy gift card burning a hole in my wallet, so off we went. In case anyone was wondering, the Old Navy in Glendale sucks. And their employees don't understand basic calendars, so I couldn't find out if I won $100,000 in their stupid contest. Apparently, "Come in and see anytime between Dec. 26th and Jan. 31st" actually means, "You have to come back after the 1st." Silly me and my high school education. I thought it meant, I could Come in and see anytime between Dec. 26th and Jan. 31st! My bad.
The rest of the Glendale Galleria was a little kinder. The Gap had some great pants on sale and I found two kick ass novelty t-shirts (which I think we should call NovelTeesTM) . Plus, all the walking had to count as cardio. So not only did I spend way too much money, I burned off a few off the calories I'd hoarded during the hibernation on Sunday! Good news, since the pants are a little snug and I can't afford to fall off the wagon. But seriously, if you must shop the day after Christmas, leave your kid at home, especially if you don't know how to supervise them. Your lack of family planning isn't my fault. Also, whistling and clicking noises are appropriate ways to call Sparky or FiFi, but your kid has a name (and guess what! you gave it to them unless you're a total loser, so chances are 50/50). Use it. Or better yet: Get. A. Freakin'. Babysitter.
Finally, as I shopped yesterday, two stores made me laugh out loud with signs that advertised sale items I didn't expect to see. Thank you, Anchor Blue & Hot Topic:
I didn't ask if they came in my size, but obviously Hot Topic had a better variety to choose from. Figures that that the S&M set in-training would have tops and bottoms whereas the straight acting, former Miller's Outpost would only have bottoms available for their clientele.
Tomorrow: I will regale with tales from the first few nights of my new holiday celebration. That's right, kids: Chanukah Chilarity is coming!
-J.
This post was sponsored by the Mall Madness Committee.
3 comments:
From the looks of those signs, I'm guessing a red Honda (that we all remember and love) was parked outside.
Yeah, who does Miller's Outpost think they're kidding by calling themselves something vaguely water-themed?
What is this Anchor Blue, and where can I find the nearest one? Is the sale still going on?
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