Last Friday, I made a rare venture into WeHo. Normally, my observations involve twinks making spectacles of themselve. And while they were out in force at Micky's, they were far from the center of my attention. Everybody knows my fascination with superheroes knows no bounds. So when a geek in a Green Lantern t-shirt (the um, green shirt on the right) walks into a gay bar, not only does it make for a great intro to a joke, it catches my eye immediately. Superhero night at Rage isn't until later this month. So what would bring a wayward stag into Micky's on a Saturday night?
He seems to be searching, never staying in one place too long, but never starying into the light. A secret identity is vital, I suppose.
He heads to the bathroom - a costume change, perhaps?
While he's gone, it becomes too clear: In walks The Flash.
OK, so it was a fellow geek in a Flash t-shirt (the, um, not green shirt above), but still, you get the point. He scours the place, obviously in search of his teammate - a blind internet date, I assume. Of course, GL's busy having a secret meeting in the john, the speedster leaned against the wall, with a view of the bar and at least two of the go-go boys. I like to think that he was cruising for sidekicks while waiting for his prince with the ring.
But the Lantern emerged from his private Hall of Justice and zigged when he should have zagged. For what seemed like a few lightyears, they stood on opposite sides of the club, where my company and I could get a view of both of them. Maybe if either of them had approached the bar and ordered a shot of truth serum, they might have seen through the haze. But apparently they were unable to detect one another. A villainous plot or just the ineptitude of gay geeks to socialize? In any event, this double agent decided to not play goody goody and superhuman take its course.
Finally, the Flash dashed off in a huff. I assumed a fire or cat up a tree needed him. Green Lantern followed close behind, after consulting his cell phone. I imagined a "battery low" message - he could charge his ring and his phone all at once.
I finished my screwdriver and moved onto watching the go-go boys with the amusing nicknames David and I had applied to them (i.e. Mel Gibson, Tentpole, Laguna Beach, etc...). Apparently, my greatest superpowers are apathy and observation. If Stan Lee's show makes it to next season, I hope they change the title to "Who Wants To Be A Supervillain?". I Could Care Less Boy would be first in line.
Oh, and they were totally wearing the wrong shirts. GL was a total Flash and the Flash would have made a perfect GL.
J6 Tip O' the Day:
For those who thinking of blind internet dates using identifying outfits, if you're so inclined, may I suggest going with a proven, long term couple?
That or Bert & Ernie masks should do the trick.
- J.
This post was sponsored by the How fucking hard is it to find a superhero t-shirt in a gay club?!?!?! Committee.
2 comments:
At Magic Mountain today, both The Flash and Green Lantern were walking aound the park. They were far more attractive than the Mickey's variety.
I love that you watched it from afar and refused to intercede on behalf of cupid and all that.
Nice.
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