The Long Weekend, Part 1.

Friday, May 30th
Sunlight.

It never fails: even when I set the alarm clock to wake me an hour later than usual, my body wakes up at 7am. Sure, I had grand plans to rise before the dawn and get to the gym early, but we all knew that wasn't gonna happen. Still, sleeping in for an hour doesn't seem like so much to ask of the universe. I try my best for a half an hour to at least keep my eyes shut and pretend to sleep. I excel at losing this battle. Grumpy and hungry and still plenty tired from the night before, I crawl to the edge of my bed, where I sit silently for what seems like forever. The clock blinks at me: 7:45am. The dilemma becomes thus: to shower or not to shower. The cable guy is scheduled to arrive at sometime between 8am and 12pm. I decided to greet him stinky. I’ve got some things to do and I’m just going to get dusty and dirty up myself anyways. This is what I argue back when the voice inside my head calls me a “lazy ass” over the sound of my toothbrush. Which reminds me – it’s time to take my Prozac. (And clean my ear - I got my lobe piercings reopened and a cartilage done all on the left.)

I realize at just abou 8am that I've forgotten to drag the computer desk downstairs into the spot where I want the connection hooked up. More precisely, I was too damn tired to drag it all downstairs at 3am when I got home the night before, but the point remains the same: the desk needs to be in place and this guy could be here any minute now. It takes me less than half an hour to nearly kill myself while dragging the desk downstairs. Setting up the computer takes me less time than that - and induces no life threatning injuries. It's at this point that I realize it's nearly 9am and I've done everything I can. Cleaning would require moving too many things around and showering would require going upstairs. Thankfully, the TV is in place and so is the GameCube.

16 rounds of X-Men: Legends II (Gimme a break I'd just seen a midnight showing of the latest movie with three hot guys!) later, Mr. Cable/Internet/Phone man still wasn't there. Seeing as FB and the Princess would be ready for San Francisco shortly after 1pm, the time to shower had come. I leave the cell phone where I can hear it ring and make a quick bathroom run. Inevitably, I miss FB's call that he parked in the garage downstairs and forgot he didn't have keys to get in the security doors. As I make my way out front and see my dearest friend turning the corner, the cable guy shows. The time is now 12:30p.

"Hey, I realize you don't have a security key yet, but why didn't you punch in the code? You do have a key to the actual apartment." I can't resist.

He looks at me with narrowed eyes, knowing I'm right but not believing I just said it, "I panicked."

I change the subject. "The cable guy's here at least."

"Fucker's late. And you have a lot of earrings in your ear," says he with a disapproving tone. He can't resist, either. This roommate thing is either gonna be a blast, a bloodbath, or a blast of a bloodbath.

Two hours later, my clothes are out of the dryer and packed and the fella is almost done installing the phone. Great - my first day with cable and internet again and I don't even get time to enjoy it. I can't help but feel this is my fault for scheduling the appointment on a day I needed to get somewhere - somewhere far. So shoot me - I already had the day of and I'm taking two more for the family trip to Vegas on my birthday. But back on point...as soon as the slowpoke (a very nice slowpoke, but a slowpoke nonetheless) is done, we call the Princess and make our way to her little castle. A quick trip to the gorcery store rounds up our L.A. need and we're off. So long cable. So long internet. So long DVR - I think I'll miss you most of all.

Part Deux to come in the mid-morning...

-J.

This post was sponsored by the Life, Liberty & the Pursuit of Broadband Committee.