Corporate racism in the food industry isn't anything new. Uncle Ben and Aunt Jemima (confusingly, not ever pitched to the public as a couple) are among the most notable examples. As a child, I thought Mrs. Butterworth was a dark-skinned English woman - though it appears she's just brown on the inside. Famous Amos was a real guy, but the Keebler Elves have since bought him out and to quote my favorite new girl at work, "He's probably drunk, living it up on the sands of Barbados now." I imagine he and Billy Ocean are doing the limbo with that guy who played Bernie.

While refilling my Sprite at the local Corner Bakery, something caught my eye (see photographic evidence on the left). I know - if you look at it now, it clearly says "China Mist." But if you're filling your drink, checking out a fellow patron and glancing at the tea dispenser, the "A" in the word becomes a "K" and the context of the wacky and stereotypical "Asian" font changes completely.

Then this weekend, I faced down a package of Nips in, of all places, my dear friend Armi's place. (Lily, by the way, is adorable and full of Sunday evening energy well past her bedtime.) I snapped a spycam pic for evidence and moved on.

Later in the evening, while grocery shopping, I found more evidence:

First off, what makes a particular cheddar bold? Is it extra-strength, mold resistant cheddar? Does it lean in to kiss you on the first date? Does it dare to wear white socks with dark dress pants?
Also, I don't know that the two Nips products are related and if so, which is the chicken or the egg, but the plot definitely thickened in Aisle 3, where I found that our Asian brethren weren't the only victims:

The people at Nabisco even went so far as to assume the type of meals white people like. Seriously, if you're trying to peddle you're food-like product, placing it next to the economy-sized baking soda isn't exactly the most appetizing way to sell it.

Anyway, the list goes on and on - Rosarita, Florence Henderson, George Foreman, Wendy, Colonel Sanders, even Ling Ling the Panda Express panda - pawns, all of them. I don't think it's any one race the food industry's trying to incite hate against. I think it's a full-blown race war they're looking' for. Why, you ask? Because when riots break out and curfews are instituted, people will need to start hoarding food. And we won't be able to eat healthy, with our perishables. We'll need our stereotypical staples to keep us thriving.

It all makes me wonder if "Sprite" isn't a crack at little people. Maybe I should call those elves and see what they think...

In other news, I'm being really strict with my eating lately (restricting sugars and cutting almost all dairy) in an effort to detox. I'm chowing mostly on carrots, broccoli, oranges, and apples. Frankly, I think the lack of junk food is making me loopy. Sad, as it's only been a day.

-J.

This post was sponsored by the Starvation Nation Committee.