The Invisible Line

Million dollar question: At what point should one “Let things go,” or "Get over it”? Is there a table that breaks it down neatly? And who says that we shouldn’t “lower” ourselves to level of our enemies (or at least our annoyances) if just for the moment? What’s their basis for such an argument?

What quantifies a “connection” or “friendship” or “relationship” after all, is nothing more besides our own perception and expectation, however realistic or not those may be. It follows then, that what consititutes a "betrayal" isn't so easily quantifiable, either. From this perspective, it’s all about how up-to-date the prescription on your emotional glasses is. Realistic expectations yield realistic disappointment or delight.

Sure, I’d like to think that I’m one of the nice guys – forgiving and easygoing, non-judgmental and ready to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But I know better than to delude myself. So why fight such inclinations toward my true nature? Why not rip someone to shreds, no matter how insignificant they really are to me (to say nothing of the rest of the world) when the occasion calls for it?

After all, thanks to a forum such as this, people who have never met me know about my struggle with depression, about funny and touching childhood memories; there’s some stuff here my parents have never heard and probably never will. If I’m willing to share all of that, what rule of good taste keeps me from giving in to my baser instincts?

I’ll tell you what keeps me from giving in. The idea of joining the ranks of those people who fight in public places or in front of their kids; the ones who hold acquaintances hostage while they turn classrooms, workplaces, and bars into impromptu group therapy sessions; those who would bleed all over the internet, holding their cherished victim status to garner sympathy, all the while leaving out details that might point a few fingers in their own direction? Not tempting in the slightest.

No, I’ll be content to share my darker thoughts with close friends over drinks or Thai food. Hating is an art show and nowhere does it say that can’t be an invitation-only event. In the end, my dignity and self-respect are worth more than a few moments of flesh-rending, no matter how good it may feel at the time.

Besides, that’s what LiveJournal is for.

-J.