Back By Popular Demand...

...or on the heels of the requests of some pushy Midwesterners (not to mention some Midwestern expats...). I thought about making my sabbatical an actual 30 days ( but a funny thing happened - I actually got the itch to write about things! So here I am. Since it's been a bit, I thought we could all use a little recap on what's gone down since last we all checked in to Chez Jay:

Coming Down.
I went off of Prozac. This was under the watchful eye of my doctor. Basically we felt that I’d learned to manage my condition(s) well enough to try and handle it on my own. If it doesn’t work, back on the wagon and we’ll see where we go from there. The first week or so was a little weird. I thought maybe I was having seizures or a stroke - just the side effects as chemicals were exiting my body. But as of now, I’m side-effect free and not falling apart. So onward and upward, as they say.

Boybands? What next - Gays in theatre?!?!?!
Lance Bass came out. Boy, this was one of those moments I wish I’d been blogging for. Back when *NSYNC was popular, FB and The Princess and I had nicknamed Lance “Ellen,” due to his uncanny resemblance to Ms. DeGeneres. Imagine our amusement at what looked like a parody of her Time “Yup, I’m Gay” cover on People. Bottom* line: A People cover is still better than Us, not as cool as The Advocate, and total confirmation of D-List status. This, I suppose, will ensure him a reality show or at least some further appearances at Kathy Griffin’s side.

*I’m assuming here, but come on – you really think that Reichen’s not in charge in bed here?

Geek Pride
I attended a couple of days of the annual San Diego Comic-Con. I met up with an old friend who I almost never see and got stay with my favorite cousin, who lives in SD. The 19th Annual Gays In Comics forum was the highlight of my Saturday and I got to meet Phil Jimenez, who I didn’t even know was gay. That we’re both L.A. born, Hispanic, comic geeks, and gay was a nice moment of solidarity. I’m hoping to score an interview with him for HomoMojo sooner than later. He swears he has a great explanation of why Wonder Woman's not a lesbian.

Always wash behind your Earbuds
I have a habit of washing sensitive equipment only to find it more durable than suspected. I once washed a flash drive from work and discovered it was still functional the next day. So it was only with mild surprise that FB made the rather hilarious discovery in the dryer the other day – the earbuds to my iPod. Better than forgetting to take the actual iPod out of my jeans, I suppose; but still a bummer. I ran out and found a pair of acceptable replacements (and no, I didn’t shell out any more money for an official pair) only to discover last night that apparently earbuds can survive just about anything. I’m thinking of writing Apple and seeing if they’ll put in a commercial after I explain how durable their fine products. If that doesn’t work, I’ll try the good people at Cheer and explain just how mild their fine products are.

A reading rainbow...
It I just needed to reconnect with my love of words and my own vocabulary through reading. I finally gave up on trying to read American Psycho. I've had the book for a year and tried to get past chapter two for months. I threw in the towel and hunkered down with Augusten Burroughs instead. Running With Scissors and Dry, with liberal doses of David Sedaris, kept my brain working. At some point or another, I expect to be ready for Patrick Bateman's bloody adventures but I guess I've just been feeling more madcap than murderous lately.

Well, that feels like a nice, soft re-entry. I honestly don't know what's coming next. I have a few pre-packaged musings ready to go so as not to leave gaps, but for the most part, I should be ready to observe. Also, there's a new layout coming - I can feel it. I just need to find and/or create it. So stay tuned - I think we're just getting started (again!).

J.

This post was sponsored by the Back To Gay-sics Committee.

Cue the sirens.

"Today's the 4th of July/Another June has gone by/And when they light up our town I just think/What a waste of gunpowder and sky..."

I passed a kid on the way to the gym yesterday in an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Do people still listen to that band or do they just sell the shirts at Hot Topic for posers? I mean, I doubt most of the folks in knockoff Betty Boop merchandise have ever seen an actual vintage BB short. And I'm sure that the kids in Sex Pistols clothing wouldn't know the difference between Sid Vicious' corpse and Keith Richards (to be fair, that's a hard distinction to certify without a coroner and a necromancer on hand). Just wondering.

Tonight was the usual pomp and circumstance of lighting the sky. As usual, the hills of Burbank charred a little bit and the fire department had to put out three small blazes. It's always a nice opportunity to bond with my neighbors on the top level of my building - watching the red lights flash and the flames slowly disappear is almost as fun as watching the multi-colored designs of the fireworks. Beforehand, The Princess and I opted for a sushi dinner. Doesn't get much more American than raw Japanese food served by friendly Korean waiters and their Mexican busboys. Personally, I'm not that patriotic and while I like fireworks, I'm far more inclined to be entranced by reflection of the sunset or shimmer of moonlight over the ocean. That or a meteor shower. Don't get me wrong - I'm not exactly some anti-American hippie type but I feel the same way about this day as I do about Mother's Day or Valentine's Day. Like your mother or your lover, your country deserves your love - honest, warm and tough all year round.

So get out and vote and protest and write your representatives and march in any kind of parade you like. And shoot a flare into the sky if it makes you happy. Just don't point it at the flag, anyone's eye or cat. I hear the police don't look to kindly at that.

-J.

This post was sponsored by the Roman Candelabra Committee.

I'm not dead!

But, yeah, I kinda fell of the face of the Earth for a while there. It happens - more often lately than I'd like, but there ya go.

Last Tuesday, I had another fab night out with the Midnight Movie Mafia^TM. Of course we saw Superman Returns. Seeing as how it made a buttload and a half in the last week, I'll spare y'all the review. But I will give a highlight reel...

• Kate Bosworth & Brandon Routh seemed a litle young. They were definitely going for the Spider-Man audience. (Awesome trailer for SM3, BTW - put him in the black costume and all geeks are happy.) Despite some wooden moments, neither ruined the movie.
• Kevin Spacey was all over the place as Lex. I like my Luthor totally evil, with flecks of humor, not the other way around. And David's right - as good as Parker Posey was, Jennifer Tilly would've rocked it. As of now, I am going to start a campaign to get her the role of Harley Quinn in the next Batman movie (No matter who they cast as the Joker, she'll be perfect) .
• Brandon Routh owes the world a legit shirtless moment. Though I'm kinda glad we didn't get it with him as Superman. The whole idea of finding Superman hot is, as I told Jason and Chad over drinks beforehand, kinda like finding Jesus hot. Didn't stop me from inspecting the package, but still...
• The John Williams theme got way too much play. It's iconic, I love it, we get it, he's Superman. A real shame, because I liked the music that was composed.
• In my opinion, the most successful aspect of the storytelling, was the love story. This, if you ask me (and hello, you are reading MY blog) is also the most difficult to pull off. The unspoken feelings and starcrossed nature to Lois & Clark's love is about as real as it gets.

So much for sparing the review. I'm home all day tomorrow, so there will be blogging then as well.

Until then, I'm J.

This post was sponsored by the Back to Blogging Committee.

Thursday, take two

Stupid Blogger ate two nice posts - one last night and another in the middle of today. (That's what I get for trying to avoid working, I guess.)

I have been having the worst time waking up this week. Odd, because it's been years at this point since I've been able to sleep in past 8am on a good day and here I am, sleeping a good hour past my alarm clock. The bright side is twofold: A)I have a new boss who either doesn't notice or doesn't care when I stroll in 15-30 minutes late, and B)I'll soon be transferring to my old department, where my hours will begin at 10am. (Yes, that means I'll be there until 7pm, but when you live 10 minutes walking distance from work, the word "commute" tends to disappear from your vocabulary completely.)

The moral of the story is: I'm going to bed early tonight. Hopefully I'll manage to squeak out of bed on time and be ready to meet the Wienerschnitzel truck! Pictures forthcoming...

-J.

This post was sponsored by the The Hissing of Summer Yawns Committee.

Wednesday: Post 1oops!!

I've been so thrown off this week. It's a rough life, with all the days off I've taken in the last month. This week is my first full workweek since mid-May. I woke up on Monday and almost stayed in bed - not out of laziness, but out of habit. I also managed to fast forward a week in my head. I thought Superman Returns was releasing today and that my plans for a midnight-ish screening were for last night. Thankfully, I figured that one out before trekking down to Hollywood. I'd hate to be like those Star Wars fans who turn movie lines in a geeky Woodstock. (They pass around six-sided dice and licorice instead of drugs...)

Also, it's the first day of summer and I haven't even started a tan yet. The parts of me that hide from the sun are ghost white. If you think you've seen scary, you've never glimpsed me below the ankles. Seriously, I've got to get some sun. Of course, I have to be in decent enough shape to go out shirtless in the sun before I can tan. So I'm a gym slave for the time being. Which wouldn't be so bad if I weren't constantly being cruised by the two groups of men I don't have anything in common with: really old men or teenage boys (aka the Baby Gays). So, either I look younger than I am (which, sadly, I don't think I do anymore) or I look like a pedophile. I'll continue to delude myself that I just look that good when I'm sweaty and blasting Cyndi Lauper on my iPod.

I'm sure I'll have more after cruising the elderly and pre-pubescent tonight.

UPDATE: I can't believe I forgot to mention this - Wienerschnitzel is bringing lunch to my work on Friday!!! I hope they have a Wienermobile like the Oscar Meyer truck....I'll SO take a dirty picture with it.

Squeeze the handle, blow out the candle...

So I'm out of racist food pics for the time being. Instead I've got a slate of sexually suggestive food pics on tap. The current crop came from a candy store up in Sausalito - besides the obvious taffy jokes, there were plenty of unintentionally gay-themed candies. I'll be using them to spice up posts for the foreseeable future. The one to the right, duh! LEFT reminds of what I really want for my birthday..

So I've got a belated birthday party on the schedule for Saturday. Times were that I used to throw themed parties but this year all I've managed to do is send out the Evites and buy hamburgers and hot dogs from Costco. Still, seeing as it'll be the first party FB and I have thrown as roommates, so the pressure is on. We could have our gay cards suspended or our toaster oven taken away! For his part, the roomie is insisting on a floor show. Personally, I'm leaning toward a school cafeteria theme. I've got all of the cheesy food serving stuff from the Target dollar aisle.

One of my favorite parties past was the Under the Sea - I think it was for my 25th. We draped blue streamers from the ceiling and bought cheesy fish decorations and served seafood. My heart of course was most into the superhero bowling party I threw a couple of years before that. I was Clark Kent with the Superman shirt peeking out (years before Brandon Routh stole the idea). For the cafeteria theme, I just need a hairnet, an ugly mole and a bad attitude to properly play the part of Disgruntled Lunchlady. But uncharacteristically, I'm not in the mood for costumes.

My point? The bar* has been set and I've got standards to live up to. Thank God almost none of the people I used to hang around with are still around. At least I can repeat a few ideas without anyone knowing. And all suggestions are welcome. Anyone?

-J.

*which reminds me - I need to get the place stocked for the drinking games and such...

This post was sponsored by the No Pressure, No Pressure... Committee.

It's the tights, isn't it?

In case you haven't been keeping track, here's the Hot & Fresh! Gay Geekly round-up:

Superman isn't gay, although he may be Jesus. (Maybe Mel Gibson should direct the sequel.)

Batwoman definitely is a lesbian. (Doesn't change the fact that outside of hardcore Batfreaks, most folks think that's a typo for Catwoman or a post-feminist Batgirl .)

Spider-Man comes out. (He "swings" through New York all day long. Are we really surprised?)

Anyone paying attention to the X-Men franchise can see that the geeks and the gays operate on sides on the same thin line. Hell, some of us even occupy the grey area that connects us. If Superman's crotch or a lipstick lesbian heroine help anyone out, I'm all for it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a new Wonder Woman in town and an issue of Astonishing X-Men waits for me. And I've got to pre-order those tickets for the midnight premiere of Superman Returns.

-J.

This post was sponsored by the Nice "S" Committee.

Homecoming...

(<= Brought to you in La$ Vega$ Drunk-O-Vision)

Alas, all dreams must come to an end. And so it is that I must experience my last four-day workweek for some time. I've had a full month of three-or-more-day weekends and next weeke resumes my life as a full-timer. But I'm tanned, rested and $130 richer, beyotches! I was down to my last nickel on a penny machine when I hit a bonus game and got PAID!!! That so makes up for the fact that the pool was under renovation.

Lemme just say that downtown Sin City is the place to stay. The Strip is a nice place to visit and gamble and gawk, but nothing compares to old Vegas. Officially it's called the Fremont Street Experience, but I call it A Window Into Despair. The living are outnumbered by the undead here - lifeless husks clamoring for their free vodka tonics and 99 cent shrimp cocktails. In short, it's a people watcher's dream.

Honestly, I spent most of the trip reading and relaxing. I'm not much of a gambler and I can't get drunk in front of my family. Still, it was a great way to spend the birthday. I got well wishes from every spectrum of life - dinner and gambling money from the fam, calls from FB and Armi, a funny card from Chip, a text message from David, an email from Jason - thanks to each and every one. And not a single lesbian hit on me.

OK, OK, onto to racist foods! (For future posts, I've got sexist foods and candies for the gay grocery aisle.)


What's up with the cocoa hippos? And is it not OK for people of a lighter skin tone to consume this Coke? Makes you wonder who that Crystal Pepsi was meant for...*cough* tweakers.

Also: the HomoMojo gig begins again soon. The site's been rebooted and relaunched and I'll be posting as JaySix there from here on out. More details as we get them...

See ya tomorrow kids! Good to be back.

-J.

This post was sponsored by the Slotty Mouth Committee.

Before I head to Vegas...

...to gamble my birthday away, I leave you with this.

I promise to get back to posting next week. Those racist food pics aren't going to post themselves!

-J.

Sponsored by the Turning 29 Tomorrow Committee.

Sorry for the delay, kids – I forgot that the tornado known as my family was coming into town as of last Thursday. It’s an interesting thing – having a roommate in the process of moving in and having your family come and take over your living room, kitchen, bathrooms (my mom redecorated the downstairs john – she even bought candles!). On the one hand, it’s great to have Mom do grocery shopping. On the other hand, I like to curse a lot more freely – and not worry about running the washer because somebody’s in the shower. A family visit wrap-up could be coming soon – although who knows, we’re heading to Vegas to celebrate this prodigal son’s birthday. In the meantime, let’s finish up that long overdue San Francisco post:

After the fun that was Martuni’s (actually, to be there on showtunes night was downright odd) we headed. At one point, the piano man burst out into “Hello Dolly!” – naturally it turned into a sing-along. While getting hit on by that lovely and confused girl, I apparently missed his impression of Bette Davis singing “Over The Rainbow.” Doesn’t get much gayer than that, folks. We called it a night after a couple of drinks and wandered ourselves down to a local all-night diner. The drill from here is pretty much the same as always: sit, talk, philosophize, joke around, get tired, head home.

As I was washing my face, I couldn’t help but bring up the attempted girl-on-girl action of the evening one last time: “I still can’t believe I was hit on by a lesbian.” Dear, sweet, tipsydrunk FB’s response was surprisingly nice: “Princess is probably right – it was low lighting and the girl was probably drunk.” Before I could utter a “thank you” he continued, “Also, all of that damn metal in your ear couldn’t have hurt.” Have I mentioned how much I love having a brutally honest best friend?

The rest of the weekend was a blur of coffee, chocolate, and clam chowder. We saw one of our favorite baristas - it turns out he moved up to SF and works at the Coffee Bean in Ghiradelli square. In a show of moderation - I spent only $80 at H&M (as is my style, I got some cute undies). And we crossed the Golden Gate Bridge and took a trip to Sausalito. (I even walked the bridge! Proof the meds are working...)

Oddly, I wasn't sad to leave when the time came to go - I was just happy to have had the time off. We spent the last day talking about our lives and directions of some delicious & cheap pizza and salad. Life doesn't get much better than that.

Now if only FB would stop calling me a lipstick lesbian...

Later tonight: The Return of Racist Foods (and Friends)!

-J.

This post was sponsored by the Committee.