Can you tell me how to get...?

I've made a mid-year - alright, almost mid-year - resolution. Eh - maybe it's more like a belated New Year's resolution since I didn't make any of those. Of course I never make those, so it's more like an early re-evaluation of my life leading up to my 29th birthday less than two months from now. No, that's just depressing. Let's just call it a quarterly review, OK? Jeez, you folks can be really picky.

Getting back on point, I made a decision: I'm going to start blogging regularly again. If I can manage to keep myself in the gym three to four days a week and I can wake upf or work every morning, there's no reason I can't write my random little thought bubbles here at least four times a week. These days it seems my poor little head is crowded as crowded gets. It could only do us all a little good to have be expel some of the more nagging ones. Well, it could do me good at least.

It is amazing the random things that occupy your think box when you're trying your darndest to distract yourself at work by actually doing your job. Take, for example "Mr. Brightside" - I don't even know the song all the way through, but there I was bopping my head to the music of a Killers song I don't really like. I also couldn't stop humming The Fray's "Over My Head." Finally I had to pull out the little radio I keep at my desk for emergencies. Thankfully, one of the pop stations played both songs and helped me exorcise the demons.
I suppose it's all better than ABBA's "Gimme! Gimme Gimme!" - playing in my head as I woke up this morning. I thought the Prozac was supposed to quiet the voices...

A girl I graduated high school with died a couple of weeks ago. Mind you, I'm not one of those of jumps on the grief wagon. We didn't know each other well and had not seen or spoken to each other in the decade past. But it's impossible not to think at a moment like that, even if you try to deny it. I immediately thought of what I'd done in the decade-plus that's passed. Cut to my evaluation of my current job situation and my desire to something better with myself cause you never know, y'know? Cut to finding an old friend on MySpace (sometimes it's evil, sometimes it ain't) and making plans to get together when I'm in San Diego next. Cut to the email from an friend telling me I'm too smart to do what I'm doing and to get my ass back into school and start writing for real. Cut to Friday's hilarious dinner of Thai food with The Princess and FB. Cut to today's heart-to-heart with my favorite co-worker/big sister at lunch today. Cut to me realizing how lucky I am and how much more I need to do with myself.

Also - cut to why I've been trying to distract myself: Saturday I found out that I'll soon be roommate-less. In and of itself, that isn't a problem - I've known she and the boyfriend would move in together or get married (or some conglomaration of the two) eventually. That she decided to tell FB while I was working overtime on Saturday and not tell me directly is a problem. The way I understand it, they're probably going to move into another part of the same building - so we'll be neighbors. But I don't know any of this officially, since I've only heard it through FB's account of what he was told. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but it really does. The kicker is that I'm really happy for the crazy kids. And FB isn already looking into possibly becoming my new roommate. (I'll say it again - roommate. As in Oscar & Felix or Laverne & Shirley or Bert & Ernie. OK - scratch that last one.) Cut to the raised eyebrows of all of our mutual friends...

No, the living situation will work itself out. I have no idea how soon the change will be upon us, but I've been itching for change. And let's face it - there are worse things in the world than having your best friend move in with (especially when he's a fashion student with mad sewing skills). Maybe I'm jealous that nobody's asking me to move in with them. Maybe it's residual issues with my parents' inability to communicate directly. Maybe it's just the mood I'm in. But I'm definitely running full-force Gemini today. Both sides of me are at full speed and they're going in opposite directions. To say that I'm torn seems like a cliche, but it's apropos so there ya go.

Also, random thought: tonight was the first time I heard somebody fart in Pilates class. I didn't giggle, nor was I bothered - I was too busy sweating like a mofo* cause the room was a boiler tonight. I'm just surprised it doesn't happen more often. We get into some majorly obscene positions - and the point is to expel air at some point, after all...

OK, after reading the post, I get why I had those songs stuck in my head. Bright side? A kick ass housewarming is coming soon! Over my head? Um, yeah - but how exciting can that be? Look ma - I'm making lemonade!

"Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!" still makes no sense, though.

-J.

*just how exactly does a Mofo sweat, anyhow?

This post was sponsored by the J. & FBeezy Committee.