May 23, 2005

Dear B.

Today was your birthday. It's odd how time passes, almost unnoticed, until a marker like this shows up. We didn't share your last birthday, either - the wounds were too fresh and the reality hadn't set in yet. Just two weeks later, as my birthday crept up, I think we both finally got it. It took almost a month after that to say it out loud, but we came around.

It was brought to my attention recently that I talk about you too much - I took it as a sign that I haven't quite moved on yet. When it hit me that today was your day, I knew immediately today was the day. The time came to cut you loose a long time ago. I said it, I thought I'd done it, but I hadn't. I won't forget, nor will I pretend I never knew you. We met when we were children, and I feel like we were children when we parted, too. Now I let go, on your birthday, as an adult.

Star Wars finally ended this year. You love those movies so. It's fitting then that my half of our journey should end in earnest right about now. It really is time we both moved on to other things, after all. Your birthday is almost over and mine is almost upon us. My gift to me is to leave this where it is. Maybe you need it more than I.

I wish you well now as I wished you well that night. I meant it then and I mean it now. Have a nice life. And Happy Birthday.

-J.